See v. Agree: Understanding Perspectives as We Bridge Our Current Divides

I arrived at the Airbnb covered from head to toe in dead gnats and dirt. I’d ridden along the route my bike app mapped out, which ended up including loose gravel, washboard roads, construction, and hills that would challenge a mountain goat — sometimes all at once.

I wasn’t even halfway there yet.

My hosts looked positively bewildered. What on earth happened? How could I be such a mess?

To my mind, the question was: how could I not be such a mess? Hadn’t they seen the condition of the roads in their part of the state?

As I explained my journey, it became apparent I’d covered ground they’d never traveled — and that they assumed I’d taken a nearby bike path and then simply zig zagged over a few paved roads to reach their home. But I wasn’t familiar with that bike path (and apparently neither was my app).

The conversations we’re having in 2021 remind me of that biking adventure and the assumptions and miscommunication with my hosts upon my arrival. While we were all in the same physical place, they initially didn’t understand how I got there.

Across the country, we are seeing people divided, dismissive, and, in too many cases, desensitized to the humanity of people with whom we don’t agree. And lest I sound preachy, I’ll confess I’m not immune to this. I’ve yelled things at the nightly news that would not make my grandmother proud, may she rest in peace.

Aveedibya Dey on Unsplash

ARE YOU SEEING EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE DIVIDED, DISMISSIVE, AND DESENSITIZED IN YOUR COMMUNITY?

We can be confused or angered by others’ conclusions, but we often don’t know how they reached them. Let’s dig a bit deeper: In many cases, we’re confused or angered by others’ conclusions precisely BECAUSE we don’t know how they reached them.

I was getting in touch with nature?

The example of my hosts is a mild one: they saw the bugs and road grime but didn’t…